Last night I sat down at my sewing machine and realized we had been separated for far too long. I've made bits of things here and there, and even completed a top or two since The Long Hiatus (or maybe it's The Long Winter... that sounds more epic, doesn't it?) but I never sat down without a certain sense of pressure. There were grades I could be working on, lesson plans to perfect, extra reading I could review before the lesson, or some other conflict that sucked away at my mental powers. It was hardly relaxing--it was an item to cross off a list, or a desperate escape from the rest of the world, and then not a real one.
But last night was the Eve of Summer--it was the day before my last day of work. I had already checked out of my classroom. All my books are boxed up, my final grades entered, my students graduated and in the midst of summer already. There was a finality to my work and even though there are still things that sit in the back of my mind and nag at me, and still things to escape from, I finally found comfort in a craft again. I quilted and found peace in the steadiness of my machine and in the perfection of the little stitches that sit in the ditch of my seams. My points aren't perfect, and it is just a potholder, but it's more than just the pride of the finished product. It's the peace that comes with the process.
Of course, I've been learning for quite some time that lasting peace, in truth, comes from Christ. This is going to be intentionally vague and that may bother you since I'm usually a pretty private person--maybe this is treating the blog too much like a diary, which I never wanted to do--but it's an idea that's been inescapable lately. Things are entirely out of my control, and I must make peace with the one who holds them. Maybe my relationship with my sewing machine is more about seeking to control something--even if it's just a little potholder--since I've had to learn to give so much of that up.
If only I could unite all the relationships in my life as easily as I put two little scraps of fabric together... but I must leave that up to the master craftsman and ask him to patch up all the missing pieces.
If you want to read a blog that does a much better job of describing God's goodness in times of uncertainty, you should check out the blog of my cousin-in-law (is that a thing?) Brittany Hess. I only met her one time, but following her blog I feel like I know her heart incredibly well by now, and it's a good one.
While this seems like it's gotten pretty mopey, there's certainly a silver lining that carries Mr. Kopf and I from one winter to the next. In the Fall, we'll be expecting our first little Kopf drop and we couldn't be more excited! Here's our "first family photo" we posted on facebook to announce the news.
Gender announcement and baby clothes projects forthcoming, of course. And this weekend, we'll be celebrating five years of marriage.
And two days after our anniversary, that little one in the middle will be getting married. My mom made those dresses by the way! Sewing was in my blood.
So with summer comes another round of to-dos, but the good kind. My big summer list will be the next item I prepare for the blog, and once Mr. Kopf and I return from the anniversary trip, the crafting will be in full swing. I hope you'll join me.